The First Decision I Took For Myself

I used to overthink everything. I knew many philosophies and moral ideas, but I still could not take one decision for myself. Even small choices felt heavy because I was always thinking about what is right, what others may think, and whethe

Navami S

Before

My mind was like a complete philosophical library. In every situation, I was constantly worried: What if I behave like this? What if I say this to others? Many times, I would relate my actions and decisions to the philosophy and morals of life. It became really difficult for me to stay with these thoughts and, at the same time, to come out of them. Knowingly or unknowingly, my mind was constantly working in this way, driven by the fear of doing something wrong.

Struggle

I would think deeply about even the smallest decisions and discuss them with my family. I was always searching for the perfect action. In that pursuit, I would rather drain myself than settle for an answer I felt was not right.

I was confused about my choices and preferences, not because I was indifferent, but because I was constantly thinking, “What if my family doesn’t like this?” or “What if others judge me for this?” Most of my interactions with people were also influenced by this. I was constantly worried about others’ opinions.

At the same time, to overcome the struggle within my mind, I would come up with different moral perspectives and seek insights from the experiences and stories of others. My brother always stood by me whenever I approached him seeking answers. His answers were sometimes relieving, and sometimes they were simply the straightforward reality—as if saying, “Apply it, otherwise face the consequences.” But whatever he gave me was always supportive.

The only thing I still could not do was take control of my own actions and my life.

Turning point

After getting tired of constantly calculating and overthinking everything, I realised that I needed guidance and support from within to take charge of my life and face the challenges that came my way.

At that time, I thought of doing Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya. That was the first decision I took for myself. Even my brother, whom I approached for almost everything, had told me long before that going for Shambhavi should be completely my decision—that when the time comes, it calls you.

Surprisingly, things aligned in such a way that I decided to do Inner Engineering. Everything was arranged very quickly. I felt that it was the perfect time for me, and I got initiated in June 2026.

What helped

As soon as I started the initial steps, with the grace of Sadhguru, I began noticing changes in my daily life. During my practices, I found myself wanting to do them even better. My brother was also consistently there for me, asking every day, “How did it go?”

We came to know that our college was organising Studio courses, which were offered to students before the college classes started. To my fortune, the course came as a double bonus in my life.

I joined a course called “Yoga as a Way of Life – Come Alive: Asato Ma Sad Gamaya,” conducted by Hatha Yoga teacher Shrungar Anna.

The course he offered really helped me transform myself. Every practice we did, every survey, and every Sadhana added value to my experience. Bhakthi Sadhana and Yoga for Love completely changed the way I looked at life.

Outcome

I started seeing every living being simply as life. Plants, animals, and every other form of life began to seem connected. This understanding was not something I forced myself to believe; it became an experience.

Because of this, I found myself naturally wishing well for others and interacting with more love and openness. After practicing Chit Shakthi for Peace and Yoga for Love, even doing Namaskaram to people started happening naturally. It no longer felt like a practice; it became an expression of how I felt within.

What was once difficult for me to implement—what I wanted to do and what I understood philosophically—has now become a living reality. It is difficult to imagine how everything changed so naturally and so completely.

This itself keeps me deeply grateful to Sadhguru, Shrungar Anna, my family, and the entire life around me.

Thank you, everyone.

Namaskaram 🙏